Peeve Farm

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Peeve Farm
Breeding peeves for show, not just to keep as pets

  Blog \Blôg\, n. [Jrg, fr. Jrg. "Web-log".
     See {Blogger, BlogSpot, LiveJournal}.]
     A stream-of-consciousness Web journal, containing
     links, commentary, and pointless drivel.

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Wednesday, August 13, 2003

11:01 - That's just mean

(top)

So I guess lots of people have probably seen the BuyMusic.com ads that have been airing recently.

It's no secret that they're direct parodies of the iTunes Music Store ads. One of them (I've seen two) features various people rocking out against a white background, like in the Switch ads and the iTMS ads, holding big clunky MP3 players that fill their whole palms while the ads spew promotional text over them. Music downloads for the rest of us! crows the copy. Hey, I'll even give them points for invoking Apple's old "computer for the rest of us" line that they used to sell the original Mac.

But the other BuyMusic.com ad that I've seen goes just a bit beyond the limits of good taste. It's nasty. I know I'm always a bit gleeful when Apple produces ads that poke fun at the Windows side, and I can't resist reveling in the occasional cheap-shot. But Lord strike me dead if Apple ever produces an ad that's as downright ugly and offensive as this second BM ad.

It starts with that same beautiful cherrywood guitar that's the symbol for the iTunes Music Store. On a stand, against a white background, in silence.

Then, this long-haired, unkempt, aging hooligan type-- probably someone I should be able to identify, but looking like an early-80s hair-band member of the type who sings against a backdrop of fireworks and explosions-- comes leering into shot from the side, shuffling like Gollum, grinning madly at the camera. He jumps around the stage a bit, then goes to the guitar, picks it up by the neck, and starts smashing it against the ground. Just like they did in the good ol' days of 80s rock. Whooping and screeching, he trashes that gorgeous instrument, reducing it to splinters as he looses primate screams into the white soundstage.

Then the screen goes white for the copy:

BuyMusic.com.
Music downloads for your
PC
I don't see a lot on TV that gives me that physically heartsick feeling, the one where you feel like someone's got his hand in your chest and starts squeezing. But this ad does that. Vindictive, bitter, petty, thoroughly nauseating.

And not for any reason more than the fact that millions of customers, wholly oblivious to the licensing and pricing stupidities of BuyMusic.com's service, are reacting to this ad with cheers and applause.

That's what just makes me quiver. Seeing Apple bring out product after product, service after service, every one the first and best in its field, solely to serve their customer base and give them compelling reasons to be Mac users. And then, without exception, the Windows side brings out a shoddier and cheaper version of the same thing, with a lot of dissonant fanfare from dented and out-of-tune trumpets, mercilessly ridiculing Apple for daring to stick its neck out.

BuyMusic.com would never have been able to get the labels' buy-in without Apple's doing all the uphill negotiating and all the design work around what such a service should be. But now, rather than focusing on making themselves a better service, they're cashing in on the easiest gold mine in the industry: making fun of Apple.

I know nasty competitive ads are not unusual; just look at the satellite dish/digital cable tennis-match of barbs. But-- I just have a problem with people who ruthlessly lash out at an innovator because they're unworthy to shine its shoes.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, Kris has written a full-featured web browser in a single line of code, using the Xcode development kit. Remember when Ratbert accidentally authored a web browser when he was trying to introduce bugs for Dilbert to fix? Well, now it's actually possible.

Let's find a way to mock Apple for it.

UPDATE: Stephen informs me that the character in question is Tommy Lee of Motley Cr�e.

UPDATE from Kris:

Actually, I wrote no code. The only thing I typed on the keyboard was:
- the program name: "TenStep" (ten steps to create a web browser).
- naming the buttons: "Back" and "Forward" (I wouldn't need this if I used icons for the buttons).
- 3 times holding the control key down while clicking to link the URL text box and buttons to the display pane.

And I used the current release of the Apple developer tools as I don't have XCode, yet.

Press the build button and presto - a browser which handles web sites with frames and javascript.
Doesn't handle pop-ups or target window links... bummer. I'll need code to handle that.