Saturday, March 27, 2004 |
22:27 - Oh, God, I needed that...
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/20040327/pl_afp/britain_us_vote_k
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Via LGF comes this story of a French "culture consultant" whose advice to John Kerry is: quit acting so French.
The subtext being, of course, Act like you're as stupid and provincial as those pathetic American plebeians, if you want their <sniff> "vote".
“Kerry’s trouble is that he is simply not the common man,” Clotaire Rapaille, who’s been contacted by Kerry’s campaign team for advice, told the Sunday Telegraph newspaper.
In the wake of the US-led war on Iraq, which France opposed, the Democratic hopeful’s command of the French language, plus his background in France and Switzerland, could be a real liability among US voters, he said.
“Forget the French connection,” he advised.
“The French are thinkers — ‘I think, therefore I am’. Americans want somebody who is going to take action. All this association of Kerry with thinking too much and nuance and five-sentence answers is off-code.”
He added: “American culture is an adolescent culture... In America, you have to be the common man, be able to make people think you are the common man.”
Rapaille, author of the forthcoming book “Archetypes of the President,” specializes in psychoanalysing cultures. His expertise is sought out by major US corporations, and he’s often interviewed in US media on mass culture.
Besides dropping the French connection, Rapaille suggested that Kerry take fewer holidays, start giving “one word or two” answers to questions — and do something about his wardrobe.
“Go to K-Mart, buy jeans and cowboy boots... Dress like you are going into a bar in Kansas to drink from the bottle,” he said.
I cannot wait to see him try it. What is this, My Fair Lady in reverse? C'mon, Mr. Kerry, try it again: the tacos and tobacco fall mainly in Waco...
My God, the condescension and the scorn. I guess I should applaud the guy for concluding that being French isn't quite the answer to all solutions, but I'm not-- because it's clear what his preferred solution would be here: Americans should stop acting so American.
Too little, too late, and too frickin' transparent.
I'm only just now getting my laughter under control.
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